ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
