i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
