He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
