Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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