The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My liver just had a heart attack.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Randomize
