We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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