Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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