Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
