White coat. Heels.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
