no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
