i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize