i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
