I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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