ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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