I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
