I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
