You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
