i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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