apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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