smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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