All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
