Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
