Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
