Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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