the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
