I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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