did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
