? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
one might say we're banned from that church
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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