i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
