I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
