Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
