I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
