i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
