; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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