who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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