Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Are we still banned from the library?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
