My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Never joke about your clitoris.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
