All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
