did you get engaged???
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
