Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
