girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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