Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
