My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you win again, gameday.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize