No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
