Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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