The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We had sex on a dog bed..
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
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