MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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