Nicole vs. Life
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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