She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
