You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I enjoy the company of your penis
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize