Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
