lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize