Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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