You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Holy shit dude........stairs
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
