Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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