Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
