Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
