dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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