hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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