Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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