i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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