sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
